When I first met Luke I was asked all the time if I could handle everything that comes with disabilities. To this day I am asked how I can cope with the set backs that often his paralysis can present. My answer to this was, in my mind obvious and very simple. Of course I can handle it! With my background knowledge of his disability, I was actually quite prepared for what lie ahead of me. I knew that physically it may be challenging sometimes, but if Luke could fulfill my mental and emotional needs then I could certainly handle everything else that came my way. Our mortal existence is so short, someday Luke will be able to run around and be healthy again. It would be denying so many blessings if I hadn't married Luke just because he had some temporary physical setbacks.
Little did I know that my struggles would not be the physically challenging situations that we are often presented with. My struggle would come with dealing with the people we do and don't know that surround us every day. Because disability is so rare people are often curious about Luke. We are bombarded everywhere we go with questions about why he walks the way he walks. Though they may be asked at inconvenient times, we welcome these questions and treat them as an opportunity for education. Occasionally though, these questions are not directed out of curiosity and rather directed with anger and ignorance. Countless times have people been irritated that we can't move more quickly, appalled that we would pull into a handicapped parking space or ride an electric shopping cart at the store. These have been the most heartbreaking of all of the situations.
Upon first glance most wouldn't assume that Luke has any kind of physical disability. He is young and vibrant and well.... he walks! When people hear the word "paralyzed" they often think of someone who is wheelchair bound, not someone who can walk. Never have we received criticism when Luke is in his wheelchair. At first this was something that really bothered me! How can anyone know what kind of disability that someone has just by looking at them? Especially when there are so many diseases that one cannot see on the outside. And more frankly, how can someone have the courage to yell at someone they have never met in public? As terrible as it sounds, on more than one occasion I have been tempted to walk up to an individual and punch them square in the jaw for the things they said.
I then learned a very important lesson from my husband. He reminded me that just as they know nothing of our situation, we know nothing of theirs. We don't know why they feel the passion that they feel. This was shown to me just a short time later when a gentleman got quite angry with us as we pulled into a handicapped parking spot. Moments after we got out of the car and had walked into the building, this gentleman found us to convey and apology for getting angry with us. This gentleman followed his apology with an explanation for his anger. His daughter was paralyzed as well but in addition, she was wheelchair bound. Often they had gone to stores or restaurants finding that there were no handicapped parking spots because capable individuals had borrowed someone else's handicapped parking pass so they could park closer to the door. In that moment I found that those that yelled at us were often not so different from us after all.
I pray daily for an extra dose of patience for myself and also for others..Our Heavenly Father has asked us to give all the benefit of the doubt and love all of our neighbors. For as much as I expect that others respect us and be understanding, I must also be understanding of them. If I hadn't met and married Luke I wouldn't have had this opportunity and I am so incredibly grateful that I did.
